When You Lose the Remote

I lost the remote. Two weeks ago.

When Diogo and I got married it took us three months to finally turn the television on for the first time. Ever since then, watching television has been a little more frequent for us--one to two hours per week. Food Network. Fox News. Food Network. CNN. Fox News. Food Network. Fox News...

Last time I remember using the remote I was on Food Network, watching another of the fatty and mouth-drooling Southern recipes by Paula Dean. She was making French toast with croissants and banana syrup. Drool now. I was sitting on the couch and it was lunchtime.

Right after lunch Diogo and I decided to watch some Fox News in order to be informed of whatever Greta had to say. After that, I had the remote for dessert.

We looked for it EVERYWHERE, including under the couches. No sign of it. Zip. Nada. The results? We have been watching Fox News and Fox News only ever since.

So much so that tonight we turned the TV on as I said, "If Hannity's talking, we'll turn the tv off." Lo and behold, there he was. Great.

Will there ever be a glow-in-the-dark remote with a built-in GPS locator???